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Spider-Man vs. Eren Jaeger
Spider-Man vs. Eren Jaeger is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle, pitting Spider-Man from the comic of the same name against Eren Jaeger from Attack on Titan. Description Marvel VS Attack on Titan! Which swinging, determined vigilante defender of the city will come out on top? Interlude Wiz: Heroes take all sorts of forms. Some are determined to fight for justice. Others are out to get revenge. And some... love to swing from buildings. Boomstick: Such as Peter Parker, the Spider-Man-''' Wiz: And Eren Jaeger, the berserker titan. '''Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: It is our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a Death Battle. Spider-Man Wiz: Raised by his aunt and uncle, a science geek, and bullied by his peers, you would never expect Peter Parker to be one of the most iconic superheroes of all time. Boomstick: He was bitten by a radioactive spider. Man, last time I got bitten by a spider I just got a big bite mark. Lucky bastard. Wiz: At first, Parker would just use his powers to help himself. Wouldn't you if you got great powers? Boomstick: Hell yeah I would! I'd use it to grab beer that I can't reach unless I stand up! Wiz: But then, while Peter Parker was out toying around with his newly-discovered powers, his uncle Ben was shot and killed. Ever since then, Spider-Man has devoted his powers to helping others and doing everything selflessly. Remember: With great power comes great responsibility. Boomstick: And MAN, Spider-Man's a woobie! Let's see, his parents are dead, his uncle's dead, he's bullied at school, other superheroes hate him, New York City likes to portray him as a villain, his first girlfriend died, and his new movies all suck. Wiz: Don't get ahead of yourself, Boomstick! Remember that Spider-Man joined the Marvel cinematic universe, so his movies are going to be much better now. Boomstick: Oh yeah! And despite all that, Spider-Man still likes to put on that ridiculous suit and swing around and save people. Man, we should get Madoka Kaname and Hiro Hamada and put these guys all in a woobie contest. Wiz: Uh, let's not. Spider-Man may have a bad rap, but he's possibly one of the greatest superheroes around. He is durable enough to tank grenades to the face and fall from large distances without much long-term effects. He can knock a T-rex out cold with a single punch, and he can run up to 200 miles per hour. But wait! In one comic, Spider-Man actually held up an entire skyscraper, which can get to about 1,000 tons. So Spider-Man can actually lift about 1,000 tons. Boomstick: Spider-Man also has equipped himself with... web-shooters. And not just the one he keeps in his pants. Wiz: Boomstick, you already used that joke the first time we used Spidey. Boomstick: Oh, right. Anyway, Spider-Man also has an innate ability called... the spider-sense. Why it's even called that-''' Wiz: Actually, Boomstick, it's a reference to how spiders have multiple eyes on their heads and can see the environment all around them. This is what the spider-sense is to Spider-Man, giving him enhanced senses and vision of everything that's around him. '''Boomstick: Man, it's not even Spider-Man fighting anymore! It's just the spider-sense! Wiz: Actually, it's really nothing more than a stimulus for Spider-Man to respond to. If Spider-Man doesn't think he's in danger, the sense can trick him. A good example of this was in Ultimate Spider-Man, when Loki tricked him into eating a hot dog that would turn him into a pig. But don't be fooled; Spider-Man is a genius. His IQ is 250, which is more than Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking's IQ's. This is to the point where even Tony Stark has admitted that Parker is smarter than him. Boomstick: Spider-Man's web-shooters, as I forgot to mention, are wrongly said to be weak. But that is NOT true, okay? They're tougher than my ex-wife was to get along with. Wiz: But Spider-Man's webs are actually very tough. They have been known to restrain the Incredible Hulk, who has no known limit to his power. Boomstick: But the thing about that is... they eventually run out of webbing. And Spider-Man's just really unlucky, so that happens a lot. Wiz: Also, Spider-Man's durability has limits, he's weak to ethyl chloride for some reason, and when it comes down to it, he makes a lot of mistakes. But one should never underestimate the power of the Spider-Man. Spider-Man: On behalf of the fine people of New York City and real rhinos everywhere, I ask you to but your mechanized paws in the air! (A note at the bottom of the screen reads, "Yes, this is a real quote") Wiz: Whoever wrote that line must have been on something really hardcore. Boomstick: I'm surprised I didn't. Eren Wiz: The year was 844, and the child Eren Jaeger found another child, Mikasa Ackerman, being sold by human traffickers. Eren and Mikasa killed these men, and then Mikasa was accepted into Eren's family. Boomstick: And then Eren, Mikasa, and their androgynous friend Armin sorta hung out inside the Wall Maria, that is, until- *Colossal Titan is shown* HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SON OF A BITCH?! Wiz: That is the Colossal Titan, and it tore down the Wall Maria and led a bunch of titans into the city to devour a lot of humans, including Eren's mother, whom he watched die. Boomstick: This really is 'Battle of the woobies'. Wiz: Eren then decided that he would kill all titans, and he along with Mikasa and Armin joined the Scouting Legion to kill titans. Eren at first was having trouble, but it didn't take long for him to become one of the greatest members of the team. Until one day, he and his squad-mates were out on a mission and many of them got killed. Armin almost died too, but then- Boomstick: Chomp! Eren got eaten. Wiz: It seemed like Eren was done for, but then Mikasa was saved by a random titan when another titan got the better of her. It was soon revealed that this titan was none other than Eren himself. Boomstick: Basically, he learned how to transform into one of those ugly abominations. He became known as: a Titan Shifter. Say, Wiz, if he wants to kill all titans, why doesn't he just kill himself? Wiz: You can't kill all titans when you're dead, right? Anyway, just like any member of the Scouting Legion, Eren possesses 3D Gear, which are sort of like spring-loaded boxes with grappling hooks in them. At first, Eren had trouble using it, but he became very proficient with it in due time. Boomstick: He also has two swords with him, which he uses to kill titans with. These swords are, well, regular swords. But remember the titan thing? Wiz: Eren's true power comes in the form of a titan. To go into his titan form, he must inflict significant pain on himself, usually a kind that involves drawing blood. He then becomes a 15-meter tall titan, which is above-average size. Boomstick: As a titan, man oh man is he a wrecking ball of destruction. He can kill titans in single hits, tear down huge walls, throw huge objects, and that's not even the half of it! But in return, he sacrificed having a penis. Seriously, his should be huge! Wiz: Ugh. Anyway, Eren's titan mode also has other things involved with it. It has its own healing factor, so if any part of it is to be destroyed then it can always regenerate it. As such, it is near-invincible everywhere except for the back of its neck. Boomstick: Yeah, one solid hit there and Eren's just a regular guy again. But the other advantage Eren has is that he's smarter than most titans. He doesn't exactly use much strategy, but his mindset is a lot less simple than just "attack attack eat human attack attack where's my penis". Wiz: Stop with the whole penis thing! Ugh, moving on, the very best part about Eren is his Berserker Titan mode. During this, he lights himself on fire. This fire is hot enough to melt steel quickly, and is very difficult to get past. Boomstick: Yep, you don't call a firefighter to take that one out. Wiz: However, at the end of the day, Eren is hardly perfect. While the Berseker mode may seem invincible, it's actually very far from it. A strike to the neck is all it takes to take it out, and moreover Eren isn't really that smart, just smarter than most titans. And while he's capable with the 3D Gear and swords, it's not doing him much justice against stronger foes. But the Berserker Titan may just be all he needs to win. Boomstick: SIED IHR DAS ESSEN NEIN WIR SIND DER *pronouncing it Jay-ger* JAEGER! Wiz: It's actually pronounced "Yay-ger". Eren: What is the point if those with the means and power do not fight? DEATH BATTLE! shivam roy SIED IHR DAS ESSEN? NEIN! WIR SIND DIE SPINNE! (Are you the prey? No! We are the spider!) In some random town that would fit right in Attack on Titan, the Scouting Legion member Eren Jaeger had just taken down a few titans. "Huh, no more titans here I guess." Eren noted. He used his 3D Gear to swing away, but he accidentally crashed into the similarly-swinging Spider-Man. The two both knocked each other down. "Hey, watch where you're going!" Eren said to the red-and-blue-dressed man... wait, what? Spider-Man stood up and scratched his head. "Whoops. Sorry. I gotta go." He was about to leave, but then Eren used his 3D Gear to latch onto Spider-Man and strike at him. "Hey!" Eren scowled at the Spider-Man. "You seem like you'd give me a good fight. Come on, I've eliminated all the titans I saw today and I still need to fight someone." Spider-Man shrugged. "Okay then." FIGHT! Spider-Man began by punching Eren, and the force knocked him against a building. Spidey used his webbing to swing from a building and then delivered a kick into Eren's stomach. "Huh, you're pretty good." Eren said to Spider-Man with a grin on his face. There was blood dripping from his mouth, but this just meant that Spidey would give him a good fight. Eren used his 3D Gear to grab hold of two buildings, then slashed at Spider-Man's chest. The blow knocked Spider-Man down, but the web-slinging vigilante got back up and shot more webs at Eren, trapping him between two buildings. Spider-Man began to create a slingshot for himself out of webbing. He didn't want to finish Eren the same way he did Batman, but at the very least he could damage him significantly. These things are so strong! Eren thought to himself. He struggled and attempted to get loose, but it seemed that every time he pulled the webs got stronger. Then, he saw Spider-Man fling himself towards him with his feet extended, then took the force of a full-on kick from him. Eren fell over as Spider-Man freed him from the webs, but Eren didn't look too good. "Give up yet?" Spider-Man taunted. Eren spit blood onto the ground, then used the 3D Gear and slashed at Spider-Man again. Spider-Man used the Spider-Sense to his advantage and easily dodged the strike. He then delivered a swift kick to Eren's back, knocking him into another building. "This guy's more powerful than he looks... I don't think I can beat him as a human..." Eren mumbled. He then bit himself on the hand - hard. Blood was drawn as he began to change shape. He became fifteen meters tall, and suddenly was a titan. "I think I just webbed my pants..." Spider-Man commented. Eren roared and picked up Spider-Man, then tossed him against a building. Spider-Man quickly regained his footing, then used his web-slinging to kick Eren in the eye. Eren angrily backhanded Spider-Man into another building, and Spider-Man used his webbing to regain control and to kick Eren in the face again. Eren grabbed hold of Spider-Man and threw him on the ground, then stepped on him like, well, a spider. "Ow!" Spider-Man interjected as Eren stepped on him. Eren stepped on him again. "Ow, hey!" Again. "Ouch!" And again. "You know, that's not very kind!" Spider-Man rolled out of the way and shot his webs at Eren, then surprisingly was able to pull him down to the ground. But clearly, Spidey wasn't thinking this through. Because he literally pulled Eren on top of himself, crushing him again. "Ow!" But then Spider-Man pushed Eren off of him, and Eren regained his footing. Eren reached for Spider-Man again, but Spidey jumped out of the way before Eren could grab him. Spider-Man used his webbing to regain control of the environment, then repeatedly kicked Eren in the face. Eren continued trying to hit Spidey, but Spider-Man was too fast. Then, Spider-Man kicked Eren in the chest and knocked him down to the ground again. "Hey, the Hulk called! He wants his annoying stupidity and destruction back!" Spider-Man taunted. Eren got back up and kicked Spider-Man, sending him straight through several buildings. Spider-Man flung webbing at Eren, trapping him against the ground. Spider-Man flung more and more webs, until Eren looked completely trapped. "Alright, now I just need to figure out how to beat this guy." Eren grunted and gasped as he tried to break free from the webbing. "Heh, you're trapped!" Spider-Man said to Eren. Well, it turned out that our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man had spoken too soon, as Eren then lit himself on fire - and broke free of Spidey's webs. "Oops." Spidey interjected. Eren roared and punched Spider-Man with a fire-infused fist. The punch sent Spider-Man to the ground. Spider-Man used his webbing to grab hold of another building and kick Eren in the face again. However, this was to no avail as the part of the costume on his foot completely incinerated. "Ow, hot hot hot!" Spider-Man hopped on the foot that hadn't touched Eren until the one that had felt better. This took all of a few seconds. "Alright, I've had it with you!" Spider-Man was about to deliver another blow, but Eren punched him into another building. Eren then began attacking the building, trying to hit Spider-Man every time. CRASH! The building collapsed. Spider-Man was still standing as he saw Eren and his menacing face standing over him. Spider-Man gulped. "Alright, first you rip off Hulk, now Human Torch?! You really have no clue how to superhero, do you?" Spider-Man used his webbing to outmaneuver Eren. He dodged punch after punch, allowing himself time to think. Alright, so the face doesn't work. The chest doesn't work. The midsection doesn't work. I don't think the arms or legs are going to work, but what would work... Spider-Man thought to himself. Then he thought of the one place he hadn't tried to hit yet. Spider-Man swung and aimed for the back of Eren's neck, but Eren backhanded Spidey into another building. Eren was about to crush Spider-Man between his weight and the ground, but Spidey quickly got out of the way. Spider-Man web-swung from building to building until he found himself at the top of the tallest building in the city. He web-swung around Eren until he found himself at the back of Eren's neck, then delivered a powerful kick. This kick reverted Eren back into his regular form, and he fell down from the height he was at. Spider-Man went back to the ground and picked up one of Eren's swords. "Huh, this sword isn't that bad." He commented. But then, Eren landed face-down onto his sword, with the sword impaling him through the stomach. "And on that day, the villains received a grim reminder: That they lived in fear of the Spider-Man." Spider-Man boasted, then swung away. K.O.! Results Boomstick: Attack on Spider-Man! Such a great battle! Wiz: In his human form, Eren stood no chance against Spidey. Spider-Man is faster, stronger, and is more experienced with his swinging. In titan form, however, is where Eren gave Spider-Man a decent fight. However, it mostly just delayed the inevitable. Spider-Man is faster, more durable, has fought stronger foes- Boomstick: Eren is stronger though! Wiz: And that's where you're wrong. Now, Spider-Man is commonly stated to be able to lift 10 tons, but he held up an entire building once! So Spider-Man is even stronger than Eren's titan form! Boomstick: While the Berserker mode gave Spidey a good fight, it was still hardly enough to take out Spider-Man. Spidey has faced foes similar to Eren, and can stand up to him long enough to discover his weakness. Wiz: And the last factor is brains. Spider-Man had this in spades. Yes, Eren is smarter than the average titan but he is still not very smart. Spider-Man has an IQ of 250 and is easily one of the smartest characters in the Marvel universe. Boomstick: Eren is now known as the Rogue Die-tan. Wiz: The winner is Spider-Man. Who would you be rooting for? Spider-Man Eren Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Anime/Manga vs Comic Books' themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles with a returning combatant Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Hero' Themed Death Battle Category:'Protagonist' themed Death Battle Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:Fedora Lord Para 348 Category:'Marvel vs Attack on Titan' themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles with a returning DBX combatant Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2015